First time in Chicago

My first time in Chicago was amazing! The weather was nice and warm. The sun’s reflection on every skyscraper. Walking by the clear blue beach. Going to the field museum for free. Eating almond croissants. I stayed with my friend for spring break. He said he had to take me Chicago which I never been. So, I was pretty excited. My friend and I we had to wake up early to catch the train from Wheaton to Chicago. I was really tired to be excited in the morning. The train ride was nice. It was interesting to see different places in Illinois. Once we got to Madison street in Chicago the air was cold and windy.

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The more I walked the warmer it got.  My friend and I were pretty hungry. We got to Millennium Park where I got to see the bean…

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I’ve seen so many pictures of the bean, and I’ve never seen it myself. (Yup that’s me in the first picture). After we got bored of millennium park we got some Starbucks. While we were eating our friend(my friend’s roommate) texted us that Field Museum had free admission for Augustana students and Illinois residents. Here’s some pics of what we saw in the museum

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Lol yeah this is me being weird.

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That’s about it. More pictures to come.

Have a nice spring break.
Love, T

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Happy belated Valentine’s day

I know it’s a bit late, and I’m sorry about that. Valentine’s day always sucked for me, well most Valentine’s day. I always watched girls holding the huge teddy bears, and the vibrant red roses. And I asked myself why can’t I have that. Why do I have to be weird awkward girl who’s relationships sucked? Why can’t I have the real thing? If you feel the same way it’s okay. Throughout my years I always had a problem loving myself. I was never really happy with myself. Growing up I dealt with people calling me ugly, and now I compare myself with other girls. Why can’t I be pretty like them? They look they have it all figured it out, and I feel like I’m stuck in this record playing over and over again. Then I started to look for that feeling of acceptance of myself in guys. They made me feel better temporarily, but then I was left alone. And I ending up asking myself: what did I do wrong? Was it something that I said or did? I realized that I wasn’t respecting myself by letting guys take advantage of me. Sometimes Valentine’s day isn’t about loving your boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes it’s about loving yourself. So it’s okay if you were single on Valentine’s day, and it’s totally okay to love yourself you don’t need anyone to do that for you.

Love, T
P.S: the best thing about Valentine’s day is discount on chocolates!

The Life of a Lost Girl

At least once in your life you get asked the question “Who are you?”, “What makes you different from everyone else?”, or “What makes you special?”. How would you answer that question? Because honestly I have no idea who I am. It’s kinda funny how I know the person I want to be and the person I don’t want to be, but I still don’t know myself. I have all these engravings of celebrities, society, people, even things that inspire me, so it makes it hard for me to know who I actually am. It’s easier for me to say the person I don’t want to be, but surprise surprise I find myself like that person. I spend most of my time dreaming than living. I’m a daily dreamer. I dream of living next to the beach with a book in my hand feeling the warm breeze on my skin, imagining myself as another person, go to Hollywood and try to become an actress, or become a traveler. My favorite one would be move to Hollywood. I lived in that dream. Raise enough money, find a roommate to share an apartment, get a job as a waitress while on the side I try to make it big. What if I do try to make my dreams into reality would I be happy? Would I be content with the person I’ve become? I feel like no matter where I would end up it won’t change me. I’ll still be falling back into my bad habits. Like, I thought when I arrived in college I would feel different, better, but I don’t. I expected to change to the person I wanted to be. I feel like I changed, but not the person I wanted to be. It’s funny how I still feel like the same person, yet feel like I’ve changed. The thing is I wasn’t happy with myself back then, and I’m not happy with myself now. For me, I feel like I’m myself in another person’s world. And I’m trying to figure out who that person is and it’s the most confusing, lost feeling. Even when I’ve been in that person’s world for my entire life, and I still don’t know that person. So, back to the question “Who are you?” my answer would always be the same until I get to the point in my life where I truly know. I don’t know when that point will come, but I do know it will be when I’m old and I look back at my life and smile. In that moment I’ll know. You’re always changing, and it’s not always easy to keep up. The thing is you have to live your life completely for you to find yourself in the end. You were born not knowing who you were, so at the end you will know.

Remember: It’s okay not to know yourself completely that’s why you have  to live to figure it out.

Love, T

The face behind the makeup

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For some reason I’ve been feeling… lost? I think lost is the right word. I just feel like crap, and honestly I don’t know why.  I don’t feel like myself. I’m not really sure who I am. I started thinking about my past, and all things that I let slide. Like people taking advantage of me, and how stupid am I for not doing anything about it. I don’t blame them, I blame myself. If I really don’t like people treating me like nothing then I should do something about it. And it’s funny that I act that I’m okay with it. I put this perfect, nice, happy persona of me for the world, but that’s not really me. Sometimes I act happy, but I’m not. Most of the time I act okay about things, but I’m not. I guess I’m afraid to hurt other people, so I let them hurt me. I’m tired of being nice. Well being nice to people who hurt me. I guess I have to learn to say no. To stand up to people. To respect myself. If I want people to respect me then I have to respect myself, and it’s funny that I haven’t thought about that before. I always believed that it was useless, but now I  see that people assume they can treat me like nothing because I let them. Not anymore.

Remember: You have to be selfish sometimes.

Love, T

First Thanksgiving Without my Family

I would be lying if I said this: Thanksgiving was everything that I hope it would be. It wasn’t terrible,  it was okay. It would’ve been way worse if I was alone with no food (the struggles of a college student). I signed up for a family dinner with a local student from my college. They’re were nice. They brought me home and we had turkey, ham, mash potatoes, stuffing, baked beans, and my favorite the cornbread casserole( now that was good), and then we had deserts after. We talked and laughed. Even if I felt out of place it was nice to be around people who cared about each other and messed with each other. If I would have the chance to go back home for Thanksgiving I would, even if my family went to Black Friday after dinner, but I still was glad to have dinner with someone else.

Things that I’m grateful for: myself, my family, and being in the situation that I’m in right now. I’m grateful at myself because I’ve been in rough times and I overcame the obstacles that life throws at me. My mom and my sisters were mostly teen moms, or some of them didn’t graduate high school. My dad not being around for most of my life. And here I am: going to college, working, living my life. I’ve been through a lot, and I’m still going.

I’m grateful for my family because without them who would I be? Who would be Thalia Perales? Who would be the girl in the mirror that I see? My family helped me grow, get stronger, and made me an understanding person. They have shown me a lot and they are my motivation for a better life and future. Sometimes the worst moments in your life creates the best of you.

Being in this situation right now can be difficult. I needed a push into real life. So, I pushed myself. Being here right now is making me stronger even when I’m feeling weak. Also feel like you’re drowning, but in the same time you’re flying. Actually, the moment you are feeling vulnerable is the moment that you are the most strongest. You’re holding all this weight on your back and you feel like your legs might break any second, but you decide to keep walking that’s your strongest moment. The end is just the resolution.

Also Thanksgiving wasn’t all that bad. I actually took an hour break to face chat with my family back home. It was really refreshing and it’s my safe place that I can always come down from the clouds.

Remember: You can make extraordinary things with the worst of things.

Love, T

Welcome to Tspot2015!

Hi! Tspot is a spot where I can share my life with people who has similar struggles as me, topics in 2015, movies, books!, anything really,  and I would love to hear about your moments in your life too. I’m pretty weird, but it’s a good thing.  Well first I’m going to start off by explaining the name of my blog: T is the first letter of my name, spot is a cool word for blog, I guess, and I always thought 2015 would be my year.

Second, I’m not the best at blogging. I tried to do a blog of my favorite books before, but that never worked out. I do love writing fiction, but never finished a story. I have kept a diary before, so why not make a blog.

Here’s more about me: I’m an 18 year old girl who moved from the west to the east to the mid-west. Long story short is that I was raised in Bakersfield, California then moved to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to Rock Island, Illinois for college( Now that I think of it that wasn’t any shorter). It would get more confusing if I wrote about where I lived before California; it’s so confusing that it confuses me too. So I won’t get in depth, but if want to know more you can just ask. My life pretty much turned upside down since the moment I got here. It’s just crazy! Moving by yourself to whole new state where you have zero family there when you never lived on your own before. It is crazy, but it’s worth it. I’ve been up and down, had my worst to best moments ever, and I’ve created a family of my own. It’s like I’m on this never ending roller coaster. The way I make it sound like sounds terrible. Like, if someone said this to me I would probably want the roller coaster to stop if I was in their shoes. Sometimes I do want it to stop because it’s been awhile now I haven’t seen my family, but I’m still happy where I am. I knew that if I stayed home after high school I wouldn’t be happy. A main problem for me is figuring out who I am. I know the person I want to be, but that’s not me. I would like it to be, and I guess I am making an effort to be that person because I’m here and I’m trying. Now that I think of it this exactly what I want. It’s not the destination that matters, it’s the journey. I never thought that was true until I was experiencing it and still am.

My dream career would be to teach abroad. I love traveling, helping others, and I plan to major in education (still not sure what I want to teach, yet). So it would be incredible to go out of the country and learn about it while helping students.

My favorite singers/bands: Kings of Leon, Hozier, Galantis, Birdy, anything that catches my ear

Favorite books: Birthmarked Series, Hunger Games Series, Divergent Series, Delirium Series, Everyday, The Fault in Our Stars, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, The Girl on the Train, Hopeless, and many more…

Remember: It’s the journey that matters. Make it count.

Love, T