The face behind the makeup

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For some reason I’ve been feeling… lost? I think lost is the right word. I just feel like crap, and honestly I don’t know why.  I don’t feel like myself. I’m not really sure who I am. I started thinking about my past, and all things that I let slide. Like people taking advantage of me, and how stupid am I for not doing anything about it. I don’t blame them, I blame myself. If I really don’t like people treating me like nothing then I should do something about it. And it’s funny that I act that I’m okay with it. I put this perfect, nice, happy persona of me for the world, but that’s not really me. Sometimes I act happy, but I’m not. Most of the time I act okay about things, but I’m not. I guess I’m afraid to hurt other people, so I let them hurt me. I’m tired of being nice. Well being nice to people who hurt me. I guess I have to learn to say no. To stand up to people. To respect myself. If I want people to respect me then I have to respect myself, and it’s funny that I haven’t thought about that before. I always believed that it was useless, but now I  see that people assume they can treat me like nothing because I let them. Not anymore.

Remember: You have to be selfish sometimes.

Love, T

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